How do you flirt online?

Master the art of Instant Messaging seduction by perfecting your flirting skills

The most memorable pick-up to happen to me was sweet, respectful… and I never saw it coming. It happened at a local bar, while I was standing near the dance floor as my friends were dancing. I was approached by a guy (let’s call him Frank) who started chatting with me – no stupid pick up lines, no cheesy come ons – and asked questions that were meant to draw answers he could listen to and build on. After talking for 15 minutes, he left off by saying “You’re here with your friends, I’ll let you get back to them.” And with that, I never saw him again.

There’s a lot you can pull from this experience that will help you with your online flirting skills – if you know where to look! From the all-important introduction to beyond, I’m going to let you in on a few secrets that women wished that you knew. Let’s go over them:

Show a little originality
Before that particular experience, most guys’ flirting attempts were predictable – been there, heard that. Instead of sending a flirt (since they are free, members can receive hundreds a day), send a thoughtful note. I’m not talking about a form letter you sent to 20 other members that day – read their profile, pick out something original and write an email addressing that point. It doesn’t have to be about their looks – everyone will have tried that with them. Take something unique from their profile and start a conversation about it (ie. I am really impressed that you like to go to strip clubs – it takes a confident woman to say that turns them on).

R-E-S-P-E-C-T – not just a catchy tune
Just because she’s on XXXBlackBook.com doesn’t mean she’ll jump your bones the minute you show her your peen. Before you hit send, ask yourself: How would this fly in real life? If you went up to a woman at a bar and said “Let’s fuck baby,” chances are you’ll be walking out of there funny and explaining why to others at least an octave higher. Same goes online – when trying to start up a conversation in IM or video, begin with the basics, ask if they would like to chat and tell them why you’d like to chat with them.

Everyone loves a compliment
By simply contacting or responding to someone with a thoughtful chat or email, you are paying that person a great compliment. I was flattered when Frank came over to talk to me about me. It felt like out of everyone in that bar, he picked me as the person he most wanted to talk with. You can bet that woman you’ve got your eye on has received a lot of compliments on this site, but don’t let that discourage you. When others are telling her that she has great tits, you can take the road less travelled and pay her a sincere compliment, such as “I love your style – I wish I had someone with your taste dressing me!”

The art of seduction
Any professional flirter knows that seduction takes time and effort. Frank didn’t rush the conversation to get what he wanted; he took the time to ask the right questions. After making an initial connection, the goal is to build it to something that satisfies the both of you. It’s important to know where the boundaries lay before you get too personal.

It’s also important to be sexy without turning someone off. If in doubt, ask – use open ended questions along the lines of “How do you feel about…” or “What do you like best about…” Let them lead the conversation with their answers, and all you have to do is follow. It’s not a race, so take it slow – besides, you can truly savor the thrill of the chase when you take your time.

Honesty truly is the best policy
Be upfront and honest about who you are and what you are looking for, that way neither of you will be wasting the others time. Don’t blurt out what your requirements are right off the bat. Build a base, then take the plunge and tell them that you’re looking for NSA online fun or a long-term fling. They will appreciate that you are being respectful and are more likely to open up about their wants and desires.

Looks may be the initial factor that sparks chemistry, but it’s the interaction that follows that makes it worth pursuing. At first glance, Frank wasn’t at all my type, but by taking a chance, he soon became more attractive to me. You’ll win some and you’ll lose some, but always remember that even though things don’t always work out the way we wanted, doesn’t mean we can’t benefit from the experience or from a great friendship. And, it’s quite common for a cyber-friendship to turn into a passionate affair.

Flirting is an art that anyone can master, and that’s what Frank was doing – practice makes perfect. Oh, and if you were wondering, although I never saw him again, if he had come up to me later on that night to resume our acquaintance, I totally would have given him my number.

Feel like you’re stuck in a rut? Wanna shake things up in the bedroom? Here’s a list of some sexual positions to try on your favorite fuck buddies:

Bent Spoon
BENEFITS: This rear entry position gives you unlimited access to her chest and neck, and offers less of a penetration angle. HOW-TO: To get started, lie on a bed, with her lying in line on top of you, facing the same way, with her knees bent into her chest as well as arms stretched out (you should be staring at the back of her head). She won’t have much leverage, so you’ll be in charge of the thrusting. Don’t forget to let you hands explore every inch of her body while in motion.

Forbidden Fruit
BENEFIT: An easy twist on a female favorite will have her screaming for more, plus it’s an awesome way to score brownie points. HOW TO: If you’re a man who prides himself on liking to give more than to receive, you’ll want to add this move into your rotation. With the option of performing cunnilingus and/or analingus, she must lie on her front, knees positioned up and out, with a pillow under her stomach, exposing her rear. You kneel behind and between her legs – then just start licking away! ADDED BONUS: Since she can’t see you, she won’t know what’s coming!

Prison Guard
BENEFIT: You’ll be able to go in for easier and deeper penetration. HOW TO: A doggie style position, stand behind your partner and have her bend at the waist so her face reaches her knees (she should remain standing as well). Once she has “assumed the position” pull her arms back gently and “cuff” her wrists with your hands. Feel free to waive her right to remain silent!

The Butterfly
BENEFIT: Easy to do on any piece of furniture. HOW TO: Get her to lie on her back on the edge of bed and plant her feet on the floor. You kneel or stand between her legs to penetrate. Get her to manually stimulate herself for even more pleasure. TIP: If this is uncomfortable for you, kneel on a pillow.

The Lotus
BENEFIT: An intimate position, the Lotus allows you to constantly kiss or whisper naughty thoughts in your partner’s ear. HOW TO: You sit cross-legged on the bed, and have her climb on your lap facing you. She should then wrap her legs around you, while both of your hold on to each other. Finally, start rocking back and forth in a fluid motion for penetration.

Pearly Gates
BENEFITS: Another great way to feel up your date, thanks to full and open chest access. HOW TO: Lie down on your back and have her lie in line on top of you. Both of you should bend you legs at the knee, with her legs outside of yours. Have her stretch out her arms, which allows you to massage and stroke her body. Most of the penetration comes from you, but once you get a steady pace going, her body movements will soon match yours. Then, get ready to shout “hallelujah!”

Wheel Barrel
BENEFIT: Works equally well for vaginal or anal penetration, and sets you up to go deep. HOW TO: Remember the wheel barrel races from when you were a kid? It just got better! Have your partner get down on all fours. Come from behind, pick up her legs and have her support herself with her arms, while holding her legs at your waist. If her arms get tired, have her lay flat on a bed or chair.

Now get out there and try it out!

Courtesy of Intimatters.com

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